The citizens of steal your supercar.
Consider this a public service announcement – try to read it in the voice of one of those 1950s safety information films. You think that man is an NPC? Think again. He could be another player – or more specifically, the GTA V YouTuber Elanip – using a smart collection of settings and customisations to blend into the Los Santos background, and deprive you of your favourite ride.
You've got to ire the effort here – Elanip could not look more like an average AI joe. He walks in straight lines, he stands still to watch players fighting or running from the cops, he makes shrewd use of the in-game emojis, and he deliberately traps himself between a park bench and a hedge so he can spend five minutes jogging on the spot like his pathfinding has bugged out. This isn't just a disguise. This is full-blown method acting.
And it works. He makes off with a car meet immediately start to panic.
It's not a foolproof strategy, though. A few die-hard GTA V players, role-playing as cops, spot what Elanip is up to, ram him off the road, and try to put him in handcuffs. Nevertheless, he's a pretty slick operator and there could be more out there.
Especially with the latest GTA Online update, which adds a nifty armoured Kuruma, among other things, you'll need to watch for NPCs walking in jagged lines, or maybe making too much of an effort to look stupid. You've been warned.